“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.” 

–Dr. Paul Farmer, Global Health Pioneer

You likely know there was a presidential election in the U.S. last week. And if you spent even a little time reading or watching the news about the election, you probably picked up on the fact that, when the sides spoke about each other, some of the language being used was more corrosive than constructive. How did this come to be the norm? And more importantly for us as parents and educators, how is it affecting the children we’re all meant to be guiding towards responsible adulthood?

The Dignity Index is an 8-point scale that measures how we speak to people we disagree with. Originally aimed at improving political discourse, it’s a tool that has relevance for our students (and for us), as well. You can learn more about the Index and the team who created it here, and you can see my attempt at putting it into student-friendly language here.

The philosophy behind the Index is that disagreements don’t cause divisions between people. Words do. I may, for example, disagree, even intensely, with something you say, do, or believe. Does that disagreement, however, permit me to treat your words, actions, or beliefs as worthless? As beneath me? The answer to that, according to the people behind the Index, is “No.” And at AAS, we agree.

At one end of the Index, from most to slightly-less closed-off, we have these negative characteristics: Contempt, Disgust, Disdain, and Dismissiveness. At the other end, moving upward in degrees of positivity and openness, we find these attributes: Respect, Curiosity, Connectedness, and Dignity. 

In guiding students towards more civil discourse with each other, it feels more practical to focus on the middle areas of the Index. After all, in such a diverse community as AAS, most of us don’t typically  resort to all out Contempt for others; neither, however, do we consistently achieve the utopian heights of true Connectedness or Dignity. But Respect? And possibly even Curiosity? These are areas where we can all feel comfortable modeling open-minded communication for the kids and adolescents in our charge.

It’s too much to expect that members of a large community will always see things in the same way. Such a community would probably be pretty boring, in any case. By extension, then, it falls on us to make sure our children know how to handle those inevitable disagreements in a more civilized way. To learn how to stay calm, to listen, and to reply with things like “I never thought of it that way. Thanks for explaining that. But here’s how I think about it.”

The Dignity Index may not be the exact, or even the only tool we can use to teach our children about effective communication. But teaching them these skills is imperative. And the benefit of such efforts is worthwhile: creating a school community where everyone feels that they matter, and understands the steps they can take to help others feel the same.

James Villers

Middle School Counselor